Heave Media

The Roundtable: The Fight

You are about to be in a fight to the death - what song do you listen to beforehand?

I, myself, have never actually been in a fight.  I’ve never even punched someone in anymore than a playful manner – but I’ve thought about what it would be like to beat someone up, and I’m sure you have, too. I think the only way I could actually beat someone up (over the age of five) would involve me listening to a really amazing son g to get me completely jacked up for the fisticuffs.  So I ask you – what song would you listen to before going into a fight to the death?

Mark Steffen - This all depends on whether I thought I was going to win the fight or not.  If I was going in under the assumption that I’d soon be pummeled to death, then I think something heroic and elegiac would be in order.  The only way I’d get into a duel to the death is over something stupid, like a girl, so the idea of that whole “Rocky getting pummeled while he screams for Adrien” idea would be at the forefront of my mind.  That said, it’d also have to be something classic with a bit of cultural commentary.  For all things that must mean multiple things in life, I turn to Bob Dylan and this is no exception.  “Visions of Johanna” marks what would probably be my incessant desperation for an unrequited love and the confusion of all situations that have inevitably led to my demise (I’m guessing at the hands of someone resembling a cross between Tom Cruise in Top Gun and Christian Bale in Terminator: Salvation).

If I were sure that I were going to win, my pomposity and affinity for irony would kick into high gear and select something that exemplified both my masculine prowess and my ability to keep it gangster.  Of course, I’d also want to highlight the monetary superiority I’d obviously exhibit over my opponent (and yes, I would win a bunch of cash by betting on myself).  These are just a few of the reasons “Make It Rain” by Fat Joe and Lil Wayne would be the ultimate fight song.  Nothing beats the idea of an overweight man spraying dollar bills all over the place and the presence of thunder and lightning during the intro highlights one of the most addictive beats in recent history.  Joe Crack, I’d take anyone down in the first round just for you.

Alyssa Vincent - In all honesty, there are two categories of songs that I always try to keep on hand--"hitman" songs, and "running away from the cops" jams. After carefully combing through the killer playlist that I compiled, I've narrowed it down to two tracks. I refuse to choose, because both have distinct strengths that they bring to my fighting scenario. In this corner, we have Yeah Yeah Yeahs and their track "Man." No, I didn't just choose it because it's got the lyrics "I've got a man who makes me wanna kill." Though that helps. There's something about Nick Zinner's crazy guitar and Karen O's throaty screams and snarls that make me want to cut a bitch.

In the other corner, there's a sort of weird song. A couple of years ago, Ludacris and Sum-41 were on SNL together, and the Sum kids provided the music for my boy Luda on his song "Get Back." The lyrics are totally fight-worthy, and I just really like rap and shitty rock music thrown together. Gets me in the combative mood.

Amy Dittmeier - I could get super cheesy on this question and say something really typical like “Eye of the Tiger” or an instrumental piece by John Williams or Hans Zimmer – possibly anything by Rage Against the Machine.  But I don’t want my pre-game music to be something that already has a familiar connotation.  The last thing I want to think about before a fight is Rocky climbing up those dumb steps.   

I want some down and dirty, something to make me want to break shit and destroy beautiful things like orchids and butterflies.  I want a song that gets my blood to a boil and inhibits all of my womanly urges to care and nurture. 

Queen of the Stone Age’s song “Feel Good Hit of the Summer” off of Rated R does just that to me.  Every time I hear it I just want to flail around and punch a wall out of sheer awesomeness.  Josh Homme, probably one of the most violent figures in current music, chants “Nicotine, Valium, Vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy, and alcohol” before stuttering “cocaine.”  It’s an addiction to the things that amp us up, that slow us down, that alter our minds into roller coasters of thought and destruction.  It’s that rush, that feeling of losing control and reverting to your primal state.  If this ever pops on my iPod on my next outdoor outing, I urge the city of Chicago to watch out.  I might punch you in the throat.

Cory Roop - While there may be some more obvious choices here like "Eye of the Tiger", for example, the one song that would really get me ready to beat someone to death with my bare hands is "Wax Simulacra" by The Mars Volta.  The most important part of preparing for a hand-to-hand death match (I know because I've participated in quite a few of them.  In fact, the movie Bloodsport is based on my life.) is getting pumped up to the point where you could run through a fucking brick wall.  The first 30 seconds of "Wax Simulacra" achieve this goal perfectly with what is easily the best drumming in the history of music.  The frenetic pace of the song is just what I would need before tearing someone's face off and wiping myself with it.  During the verses, the intensity drops just enough so that you can get even more pumped by the chorus and bridge(s).  Listen to this song at your own risk; you may have the urge to beat the living bejesus out of someone afterward.

Lisa White - When getting ready to fight to the death, one doesn't need inspiration or kind words of hope. You want to be told to fuck shit up and be ready to destroy. And before I go into any battle of life and death, I crank up "Kick It" by Peaches and Iggy Pop.

Iggy Pop is a crazy badass who rolled around in glass onstage and should be dead given the amount of drugs he has ingested. Peaches is one tough and crass broad. Combine the two and you get this anthem. With lyrics like "rip it up" and "kick it up," all you really have to do is follow their lead. And in the video, they kick a bunch of zombie ass. Now if that doesn't put you in the mood to kill, you're just a lost cause.

Andrew Scott - I once boxed a friend.  Although I managed to hit him once in the arm, he ended up hitting me about 15 times square in the face – we only boxed for about a minute.  I left with blood gushing from my nose at the same rate as my fleeing dignity. Bearing this lack of fighting skills in mind, I’ve decided to take an alternate route to my pre-fight ritual.  I would listen to “Cassandra Gemini” by The Mars Volta.  With its over thirty minutes of ambience mixed with nightmarish noise manipulation, musical prowess and ravenous vocals, I would completely forget about my imminent doom, plus get an extra half hour to live.  Score!

Posted by Wes Soltis on May 29, 2009 @ 12:00 am